Crazy vs Normal

One of my fifth grade students was taken away to juvy in the back of a police car. It was a crazy day.

Taty joined my class just before Christmas. She's kind of an odd girl, always wide-eyed and sort of spacey. But she seemed nice enough, and although kind of annoying, harmless. Up until today, all I knew was that she lived in a foster home, and had just relocated to this home when she came to my school.

As the days have gone by, Taty's behavior had gotten progressively worse. She became very paranoid and argumentative with other students. There was always someone wronging her in some way, yet, she was always the one doing the talking. She began speaking to me disrespectfully and talking back when I would call her out on a behavior. Last Thursday, I had had enough and asked her to go next door to complete a behavior form. To make a long story short...she refused and the vice principal had to escort her out of my classroom. I was forced to write a referral on her. After having a bad day yesterday and a bad morning today, I figured it was time that I call her foster mom. I had assumed that the principal had already called her last week, otherwise I would have called her before this point.

I asked Taty to come back to the room with me to call her foster mom before she went into the cafeteria for lunch. We headed back to the room, sat down, and made the call. After talking to her foster mom for about two or three minutes, I realized that mom had no idea that Taty had been written up the previous week. I was really irritated that my VP hadn't called, as this makes us all look irresponsible. Nice. I begin to go into detail about what happened, and Taty starts to cry. She screams out, "I hate you!" Her anger is directed to me. She gets up, and storms out of the room. Her mom asks if she should come down to get Taty. I agree that this might be the best idea. Let Taty cool down the rest of the day and come back tomorrow ready to shape up. I get off the phone with the foster mom, and head out to find Taty.

After searching the school for thirty minutes, YES! thirty minutes, I finally find Taty. She is at the front door of the school, and she is talking to her mom who has just arrived. I can hear the mom asking her questions about her behavior. Taty looks up, and spots me. Then she gets up off of the floor she has been sitting on, and darts out the schools front doors. Fantastic.

The mom tells me that she is not going to go after her, that the police can pick her up. POLICE? She says that this is the normal protocol for this sort of thing. We go outside, and sure enough, she is no where to be found. Five minutes later, a cop car pulls up with Taty in the back seat. The police officer just happen to be driving by about a block away and saw her walking down the street. The officer called out to her, and she attempted to run from him! Imagine. He got her in the car, but not before she kicked him.

The foster mom didn't want to let her out of the car for fear of Taty trying to run again. She tells me that Taty has been in four foster homes since August. The system keeps having to place her in different homes because Taty keeps running away. The foster mom decides to call the social worker that is involved with Taty to try to help out. At this point, I had to go back inside to my own classroom. I was told later that the social worker never showed, and through one call and then another...the police were directed to take Taty to juvy.

All of this because I called a parent. I am not real sure how to feel about it all. On one hand, I really feel sorry for this little girl. She has obviously had family issues, and is acting out because of this. Then on the other hand, these are her actions and she must understand that there are consequences. Am I am horrible person for thinking that? Have I worked so long in inner city that my heart is becoming hard?

This is my fifth grade classroom. There are children who have problems with reading, and there are kids who hate math. There are masturbating selective mutes, and students who tell about their 14 year old sisters having babies. There are boys who have never met their fathers, and girls who have already had sex. There is a narcoleptic, and a southern belle. These kids make me look normal. Crazy day? Every day.

Ready to Go

It' Monday morning, and I am feeling a bit sluggish. I only had one cup of coffee this morning, rather than my usual 2 to 3. I am trying to cut back on the caffeine, and I am totally feeling it. This weekend went by all together too quickly, but it was pretty jammed with activity.

Friday night we (Andre, Cash, and I) had dinner with Ike and Amy at Market St. Tavern. It was really good to hang out with them. They are a couple that I always enjoy spending time with. We ended up back at our house for coffee and more conversation. One thing that I really love about Ike and Amy is just watching their interaction with each other. I think they are one of the sweetest couples I have ever met. It is just written all over them that they are in love. They are super considerate of each other, and just plain precious without being obnoxious. Their first baby boy will be arriving soon, and they are tremendously excited. It was a reminder of how I felt just before having Cash.

Saturday I had planned on taking Cash to Isabel's birthday party, and then on to Paula's baby shower, but plans changed at the last minute. My friend, Lynnette, came in from Nashville for the day. She has been going through some heavy stuff emotionally, and really needed some time for us to just talk. Since Lynnette is one of my two oldest friends, and my dearest, I felt like she won priority over everything else. It was good for us both to just spend time with each other. It was exactly what I needed, and hopefully what she did too. I think we both felt lighter when we parted.

Sunday arrived bringing a visiting Bishop to our church to speak. Bishop Boosada. (Interesting name, huh?) I love to hear Bishop B. speak. He kind of looks like Ted Danson, just to give you a mental image. He spoke on seeing clearly. Hearing God clearly. Afterward, we were suppose to meet another couple for lunch. We have been trying to get together with Stephen and Sarah for weeks, but we are all so busy it has been hard. Finally, we had a plan and, of course, this was the day that we got out of church super late. Luckily, they were running late, too. Anyway, it was a tasty lunch, and really nice to see them. They are another couple that we always have a great time with. They have a new born, Finn, and he is a total cutie. I wish I had more time in my life to incorporate Sarah into. We are just getting to be close, and I would love to be able to connect with her more often. She has a great heart and is a really creative person. I love her outlook on life, and her genuine care for doing what is right.

We made it home yesterday, and the weather was actually pretty nice out. We had time to play with Cash outside. He loves outside. Andre threw a frisbee around, and I took pictures of the sweetest little boy I have ever met. One of my two great loves. My husband being the second, of course.

Although physically I am a little weak, the weekend did rejuvenated me in many ways. It prepared me for this upcoming week of busy days, and short evenings. It helped me regain perspective on my local friendships, and filled my thankful heart for the longevity of other friendships. I love my husband. I love my child. I love my friends and my life. I am ready for the week.

Moving Forward

This is my 24th day working on Project:365. It's been great so far. I find myself looking at the world a little differently, wondering what would make a nice shot. There really is beauty all around us in everyday objects, and it has made me happy to become more aware of that.

Also, I found a ton of people on photoblog that are doing the same thing. It's neat to think about all of the people, in all different places in the world, in different stages of their life, all documenting their year the same way, and on the same site. It's a great site that everyone should check out! There are some amazing photographers on there, it blows my mind when they leave encouraging comments on my little photos.

Here are a couple of my favorites so far. The top one is a puddle reflection and the bottom one is the sky from my yard.

Do I know you?

We were sitting in Reynolds's classroom talking while Reynolds cleaned up.She and Dunn were going to see a movie once they left. Delk and I sat at the horseshoe table, and watched Reynolds scurry around the room apologizing for a classroom in disarray. Dunn was anxiously fidgeting with her scarf and coat, only stopping to check her watch. She didn't want to be late. Someone mentioned class on Saturday, and it jolted Dunn's memory. She wanted us to go with her to see 27 Dresses after class. I really wanted to go see this movie, as it is a chic flick and there was no way I would get Andre to take me, but I already had plans to meet some old college friends for lunch. I began my attempt to persuade Dunn to change the date.

Every option that Dunn presented was an option that didn't seem to work for me and my schedule. I finally concluded that this was not going to happen, and I absolved the girls of their obligation to include me on their outing.

Here is where I started thinking.

"You've got too many friends!" Casey shouted to me.

This isn't an odd or profound statement, yet it resided with me. I began thinking a lot about it. Do I have a lot of friends? If I have a lot of friends, why are there periods of time that go by and I feel so alone? It's kind of weird. I mean, I do have a lot of friends. I have school friends, college friends, couple friends, book club friends, friends I grew up with...I spend time with all of these people. I laugh with these people. I talk with these people. I dance with these people. Yet, I wonder if these people really know who I am.

It's quite possible that my melancholy disposition enables me to be a little more dramatic when thinking about this, but there is something to it. How many people really know me? There are lots of folks out there who know parts of me, but mostly it seems like they only know what is laid out on the surface. The stuff that can be scooped up easily, and molded into a piece that fits the niche they have carved out for me. This is kind of a lonely feeling.

Andre knows me, as much as a man can really understand and know a woman. He is my best friend, and I share everything that I am able to share with him. However,I am talking about another realm. Friends. Girlfriends. Part of why I feel like this is because I have always had a sidekick, for a lack of a better word. Growing up it was Lynnette and Becky, college gave me Cindy, Becky Lee, and Kathy, post college time was spent with Erin. Now I am all grown up, a changed person from my youth, and those friends are far away.

I suppose I miss having the sidekick. Realistically, there isn't time for a sidekick. I have family, work, school...but I do miss having a friend that I call or she calls me on a daily basis. Just to chat, talk about what's going on in our domesticated lives. Someone to meet for wine night at Mudpie, someone to yard sale with, someone to craft with, someone to shop at Target with. I miss that intimate interaction that comes from being so close with a friend that you can just hang out at home, doing nothing, and it seems like the best time in the world. I feel like I dont know anyone well enough to do those things with.

My friends that I spend time with now are great. Lovely women who care for me, and I for them. They are people that I would love to get to know better, and allow them to actually know me, too. But we aren't there yet, and this is something that one can't force. All of this leaves me with a small void.

Project 365

Here is the link for my photo project. I will also put in the links on the side bar. Check it out.

www.photoblog.com/paperwings/

First Two of Many

It's the fourth of January and I already have two projects in the works. I have been wanting to learn how to crochet, so I downloaded some instructions. It's Friday (payday), and I am going to get some yarn and needles to begin. A lot of my friends are either pregnant, or have just had a baby, so my first attempt will be at a baby blanket. Hopefully, this will prove to be a good beginner project. Here is the blanket that I will be giving a go at. http://cache.lionbrand.com/patterns/60509A.html
I will let you know how it works out.

My second project that I have actually already begun is called Project 365. Having always been a big fan of photography, I have a Photojojo link on my Google Reader. (Which I totally implore everyone to check out, as it is fantastic.) I saw this this project when reading an article on New Year's Photo Resolutions. http://photojojo.com/content/guides/19-new-years-photo-resolutions/
I really have no skills when it comes to photography, but I want to seriously try to increase my knowledge in this arena. SO...Project 365. I will take a picture a day for the entire year of 2008. This is a big undertaking, but I want to do it. I decided this yesterday, and it just so happened that I had taken a picture on the 1st and 2nd of January. They weren't great, as I imagine not many of my photos will be, but at least I can say that I do have photos for everyday. I am in the process of creating a site to post these pictures, so I will add the link when it is set. This project is meant to get me thinking more about how to take pictures, and to get to know my camera a little better. It will also chronicle my days in 2008.

I am excited. This is good.

New Years Day Brunch

Host and hostess

Games after brunch.


My sticky buns are a bit lopsided, but delicious none the less. (There is cream cheese in the middle! yum.) http://www.kraftfoods.com/kf/recipes/recipedetail.htm?recipe_id=104491

Our first annual New Years Day Brunch.

We started the New Year in a fantastic way, with good food and good friends. Loads of laughing and even more eating.